356.

Friday.

Visiting parents.
Tornado. Lots of things flying. Everything breaking everything.
Rough sleep.

Saturday.

Fixing. Too much fixing. Lots of work. Tired. No hunger. Coming back home one day late.

They broke into my house. No more computers. No artwork. No project. No resources. No TV. No Ray-Ban's. No shaver. No drill. No router. No expensive shoes. No expensive clothes. No laptop bags. No coffee maker. No credit cards. No money. No caps. No speakers. No music. No keys.

No more dream of her. No more illusion. Yes, things have changed.

Crying in the shower. Dehydrated. Locked in. No hunger.
Sleeping among the ruins.

Sunday.

Locks changed. Cleaning up the heavy mess. Crying in the shower.
Police declaration. Buying groceries. What for? Hands hurt. Crying over groceries. Dehydrated.

Is this home? Drank all the water. Asking for help. No help.

Thank you all, you are wonderful. Nobody is.
No hunger.
Crying in the shower.
Sleeping. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Crying. Sleeping. Woken up by pee. Make it stop. Sleeping.

Monday.

First day of work. My pants are big now. What happened with you? Why they ask if they walk away? Weakness. Depression. Mockery. What's going on with you now? Pressure. Wanna write Fuck You on my back and walk away.

Bought water. Heavy bottles.
Kind e-mail. Kind response. Yes, things have changed. No hunger. Forced eating. Yuk. Drank half the bottles.
Crying in the shower.
Sleeping. Pee. Punch the wall. Cry. Sleep.

Tuesday morning.

Most professional person I know, lashed out for being "unprofessional". WTF all around.
Students fucking around. Tension rising.
Back home. Trying to find receipts for the insurance company. Hours wasted. None found. Tension hurting the neck.

Tuesday afternoon.

I zombie. Hurting neck.
Broken server. "It is fiiine!"… Not fine, R.A.I.D. fucked up. Hours wasted. Heavy work ahead. What the fuck all round.
Broken cellphone, 700 dollars to the garbage. All her messages lost. No communication. No peace.
Insurance company doesn't takes charge of my loss. Why not! What else now?

Tuesday evening.

Sweat.
Trying to work. Drugged students. Fucking everything up. Why in school? Stole two cellphones. Too late. Everything fucked up. Student girl fainted three times. Everything fucked up for real. Heavy breathing. Everything fucked up really hard. Student girl having convulsions. This is fucking hell. Ambulance very late. No. It's not real. We are all into a nightmare. Wake up. No waking up.
Ride to the hospital. Fucking conversation. Trying to elude the pain. Fucking blaming. Trying to elude responsibility. Wake up.

Tonight.

Girl somehow OK. Mother worried. Principal worried. Two teachers worried. I zombie. Wake up.
I take you home.
Now home. No home. No hunger. Give me water. Crying in the shower.
Typing now.

FUCK

THEM

ALL

FUCK

THE

WORLD

Late night now. No hunger. Water. Tea.

Typing yet.
No Sounds. Silence now. Stunningly miserable. Stop writing shit.
Loneliness.
I zombie. Wait for sleep.